Loneliness

There is a kind of loneliness that builds gradually, through a process of breaking away from the world strand by strand. It is in some ways also a manifestation of acceptance of death, and of preparation for that final dissolution in to the eternal loneliness. There is another kind, caused by momentary snapping of connection with the familiar world, loneliness of being out of place, made of the discomfort it causes. It’s texture is exactly like when loud music around you suddenly stops playing and a void is left behind by its sudden disappearance, leaving you confused about void’s nature, about whether it's a residue of something that has suddenly gone away and a form is left behind by substance which has just disappeared and there is still another a second left for it to cave in, or if it is something that was hiding in the shadows and spotlight has shifted on to it all of a sudden... One can never really comprehend this emotion; is it the longing for the music gone away or is it discomfort of finding your self in the embrace of silence, that is, something unexpected?  But what one definitely feels is a surge, of emotions...

Emotions are chaotic, and habits, playing out in a familiar world, are the way of enforcing some kind of order to them. Habit is like a shallow channel through which furious stream of emotion flows in some what controlled way; but, even a momentary disconnection with the familiar world of habit can create a massive surging emotion which always takes the form of impossible to understand flood of feelings summarily called loneliness.

-Pulastya