What does sexual liberation mean!

Liberation means ‘being set free’, sexual liberation-sexual behaviour being set free. Any action which has consequences can never be set fully free, more so with sex. Therefore, sexual liberation is a bit of misnomer, the correct term should be sexual revolution- radical change in sexual behaviour.

At times, the norms practiced by one society can be more restricting than being followed by another society, which brings in the terms conservative and liberal in to use, not slaves and liberated. These two factions co-exist within the same society too.

Sexual norms, which may seems repressive now, have emerged from the practical need of society to govern sexual behaviour in a particular way to avoid consequences which were detrimental to the individual and to the over all society.  

These norms were accepted voluntarily.

When an individual wants to limit the impact of consequences, specially negative ones, of a joint action by two or more people it seeks arbitration and support from the society. And society, to deliver that protection in a fair manner, sets norms to govern the behaviour leading to that act, for without preset norms there can not be fairness and transparency.

It is us, who cede our freedom of arbitrary action and accept behavioural norms of society to be under its protection, specially those who wield less power (physical, financial). 

Society, ideally, forms it norms with the view of protecting its weakest, the more capable ones, who can afford to be more independent in certain aspects, also have to abide by same rules. That is a peril of living in a social structure, for the stronger.  However, when they defy they get pardon more easily, weak members have  to be stickler to norms for their own safety. 

People accept norm based protection in exchange of predictable, directed/guided, behaviour to maximise mutual benefit. The norms are also decided by them mutually. So, no one can complain of oppression. Voluntary repression, yes. 

Sexual behaviour is one which has very critical consequences for the individual and the society. This is key behaviour which ensures propagation of genes of the individual and perpetuation and growth of society. Therefore, both have keen interest in the outcome of sexual behaviour of individuals-the progeny. 

In a sexual act, in the two parties involved, woman had more vulnerable position, because of the pregnancy, child birth, and child raising. She, could not go through the possible consequences of a sexual act without support, so she needed the protection of the society much more than man. And in lieu of that support she also needed to pay higher price in terms of accepting higher restrictions on her sexual behaviour. 

Accepting control on sexual behaviour is a premium payment by individual, specially woman, insuring her self against the unwanted consequences of her sexual action. In lieu of this society forces man, who otherwise can afford to be more reckless sexually, to behave and share the responsibility arising out of consequences of a joint act more responsibly.  

So, in a way sexual revolution is primarily a description of change in the sexual behaviour of woman. Men, throughout, have acted in reaction to her behaviour only, as is expected by society of them.

The sexual revolution of West (Developed world, 1960-80) is a consequence of two important changes in the environment which have severely limited the negative consequences of sexual act for individual- the woman, and the society. These are, handy contraception (oral birth control pills) and government sponsored child care, foster home system. First one reducing the unwanted pregnancies drastically and hence limiting the society’s possible liability of taking care of children who are not supported by a marriage based couple-raising-their-children setup; and second one, these governments being rich enough to be able to support these limited number of children through their own setup of community raising of these kids in foster home on public money, ensuring that future members of society are not wasted to neglect and misery of being unwanted and unplanned.

There are two other minor contributors too, to this revolution, which have hasten the revolution. One, dilution of authority of organised and centralised religion, for as long as they would have been influential they would have resisted, and two, financial independence of woman caused by modern, less labour intensive, economic system, which has led to freeing her from bartering her sexual fidelity for food, cloth, and shelter provided by man. 

In any society where organised religion has no place, all norms are result of a slow and painful learning and, therefore, do not seem restrictive to the members, for these norms have their basis in unchallengeable utility. Restrictions also vanish quickly once the change in the environment abolishes their need. Such a society hates laws and norms, because enforcement is always a big burdens, and keeps them at minimal. 

It is religion, with its paid hierarchy of law makers and enforcers, which does a professional job of deliberately restricting the behaviour of people by enforcing laws, to maintain status quo in favour of  power that to be. Religion fossilises the fluid structures of societies and makes them stagnant. 

In our case, luckily, because of diluted form of religion (Hinduism, not really organised- no central authority etc.) little attention has been paid to sexual behaviour from religious point of view, all restriction have evolved, based on practical requirements of running a society (Muslim invasion, for last 1000 years). And, I believe, they will vanish with time when their practical utility fades away. This, of course, will have to make allowance for inertia, because only some people can change quickly with time, others have to learn it by copying, which takes time in dissemination. 

How does sexual revolution will manifests itself in terms of sexual interaction between man and woman can not be covered by a general prediction of behavioural pattern. Specially, in case of woman. It will depend on personality aspects of the individual,  like in any other form of relationship, say friendship etc. Uniformity of behaviour is a result of  restriction placed on it, when set free human behaviour exhibits more variation than uniformity at microlevel. 

Men, as usual, will keep on reacting to female sexual behaviour in general and adapt their own sexual behaviour accordingly.  

Also, ethical behaviour has its root in fairness; there is no other benchmark to asses the quality of ethics. 

With more freedom from the consequences of sexual behaviour  the definition of ‘fair’ will become more and more democratic, to be decided by mutual consent of sexual partners. Which will minimise the role of society. So, there would be no taboo to hooking up, to having multiple partners, anything, as long as one of the partner doesn’t go complaining to the society and brings its intervention to get “fairness” defined by it. 

However, we do not have conditions ripe for West like sexual revolution yet. Even if we copy their behaviour it will backfire due to lack of their kind of awareness and social infra structure. It will keep its root in small pockets in urban centres with people of education and financial strength, but that doesn’t count for whole society. 

Heroes Genesis

Villain is action, 

Hero only a reaction,

Devil is a proactive god, not afraid of taking risk....

-Pulastye 

What Made All The Difference

You know, lately, since I have lot of free time at my hands to think, my early life has been running before my eyes in a very different way. Of course we all remember our past and sometime think about it, but for me, these day, it runs across in slow motion, and in reruns. Perhaps an effect caused by practice of slow reading books, which I have been doing a lot recently. 

Slow reading, is when you read a book much much slower than your normal reading speed. Reading each line of book multiple times, word by word, emphasising and investigating each word; trying to figure out why writer used only this particular word, or trying to find meaning in the punctuation that writer used; or do a lot of reading about the author him self- like reading his autobiography, and read books on the country he was born in- it’s social structure and history, to get a hang of his thinking, so that each line of the book, that I am slow reading, becomes more meaningful. In this process many hidden meanings reveal themselves. Like they are revealed when writer is writing the book. Slow reading is painful, almost as painful as it was for the writer when he wrote the book, the book seems never to finish . 

This ‘slow reading’, seems to be affecting my thinking in some odd physical way. Everything seems to be slowing down around me, like I have more time to look at, and analyse, each action. It, simply, could be the age too; but, I am less willing to go with that explanation. 

This slow motion rerunning of early life is revealing past events in a new light. From such angles which earlier seemed unimportant and, therefore, were unexplored. For example, the other day I was thinking about my grand family at my father’s side and remembering each of my cousins. How we use to play together, the bonding with some, remembering which still makes me feel a little mushy, and play tussles with the others. I was recalling their behaviour, their mannerism; and in the present doing the assessment of each of their’s potential at that time. Some of them were much smarter than I was, and some were powerfully built and bold; I, on the other hand, was the meek one who would not speak much and get scared even looking at a cow and start crying. I recollected what each of them was doing now. To my Amazement, if one looks from social status and financial position point of view, I, the meek one, was doing better, far beyond any comparison, than all of them. 

Wondering what had happened that their and mine lives turned out to be so different I started looking back at the events which could, possibly, have made the critical difference. And I, in my opinion, was actually able to zero down on the key event which made the difference. 

I remembered that during the long summer noons in the village, when after lunch all my aunts took their naps with my cousins in tow, there was one woman who did not sleep, and neither allowed her children to sleep. My mother. All noon, while whole village slumbered, she taught me and my sister alphabets, number counting, and Hindi alphabets. All other children would be resting and charging their batteries for a boisterous evening of games and running around, me and my sister would be getting smacked on our heads when we made mistakes in learning. Those days, then, we thought as punishment, which only two of us had to endure while all other children were having fun. And presently, while thinking about all this, it suddenly hit me that those noons were the reason that my life turned out to be so different from my cousins’. 

When all of us were put in the school none of them could deal with it, they could not pick up at all, while me and my sister, because we were ready, prepared by my mother in those sleepless noons, flew. We caught teachers’ attention and they took us under their wings and supported us, while cousins were ignored as burden. It all became a vicious cycle for them, and turned out to be a virtuous one for us. And that small detour, there, made all the difference in our lives. 

I was little shocked, too, thinking about its randomness; such a small act of my mother made such a huge difference to my life, what if  she would not have done that. Like other mothers, she could very well have given preference to mid day rest, which, by the way, would have been well deserved because the days were very hard in village, full of physical labour. Three women of the house had to cook three meals a day for the family of twenty five and ten field hands (twenty kgs of wheat flour was rolled into flat bread each day, festival and sowing days were even bigger monsters), had to take care of dozens of barn animals, and look after two to three kids each. And yet, despite being not well educated her self, eighth pass, she had the good sense to gift us education. How lucky we were. Believe me or not but thinking all this I cried. 

And then I could recall many other things too that made huge difference to my life in a very fundamental way which were completely accidental. As they happened they, very well, could not have happened in even slightly changed circumstances, and my life would have been altogether different, and for worst. The fragility of occurrence of such life changing events actually scares me thinking about them. How tenuous are the links that connect various event and make good a life; if one link does not present it self at the right time life could remain much smaller, and definitely much less meaningful. 

-Pulastye

DP

 If your DP is any indication, you have very different kind of fantasies. Rooted in unreal which is closer to abstract than fantastical. 

Nature features prominently, but as a background. It is there only as a revolt against the confinement of what is human-made, you do not truly feel part of nature too, you just hate man-made too much. Your preference of it is relative, because, for the moment you believe, it is less harsh than what is man-made! But harsh it is none-the-less. 

Nature is around you only as a vague feeling of non-confinement (being free!); detailing nature, for you, is unnecessary-no flowers or colours, because you are not into it; you desire its abundance and treat it with indifference- take it for granted, like everything that is in abundance- air, sunlight - is taken for granted. It has its value only because its absence would hurt.  

In the wild, on a partially gloomy day with take-away coffee in hand- give me the comfort of modernity but keep me free from its perils- and a bunny for a companion! Not too enamoured with human beings! Are you? Your need from them is only of cuddling, not of association. I need love, but I do not lean; toys not tools. Because, among the living, cuddling necessitates association, you would rather have a bunny than a human (A child over a grown human, perhaps!), that would fulfil an emotional need at a much lesser cost for you.

A self image which needs very little extraneous validation because no one is found worthy.

-Pulastye

Past

Emotional value of past never remains the same. It keeps increasing as the distance from the past increases. Memories are subject to a process of continuous filtration, with time fewer keep becoming more and more prominent.  

More distant the past becomes more glorious it seems, happy and sad both. Ever wondered why everyone finds one's childhood so alluring, because that is the most distant past one has.

-Pulastye

Canada

 I can see from the pictures the beauty of the land. Silvery waterways, endless verdure of temperate forest cover, azure glass of sky, wide highways with sparse human foot prints, all that of which the allure of nature's benign beauty is made of, where one wants to be lost for ever sublimating in to the elements. But remember, this is the same land which will turn in to evil witch in a white cloak once the winter comes. So,  be happy while mother nature is in good mood, before the time to hibernate returns.

-Pulastye

Place of Woman

 He often wonder, what is the difference between a man and a woman, not physically, or emotionally (which also is a form of physicality), but conceptually, from where all these physical differences have emerged. Seen purely from the basic utility point of view, woman is fundamental tool of propagation, more fundamental than man, because she carries the womb. Role of man could be eliminated by asexual reproduction, which is not so rare in nature, and by creating more benign survival environment which does not need physical strength of man (which is in control of nature too!). But, that’s not the route nature took. Perhaps, because the kind of brain capacity humans were endowed with they needed much larger canvass of interplay to put this capacity to proper use ( In inter species struggle.). Thus a larger cast was required with much more significant roles. Hence men were brought into the picture with specific role and responsibilities. But, the place of woman remained central as a primary bearer of life on this planet. Men were programmed for subservience to her. Hierarchy was drawn clearly, for it was not on woman to subdue man but they were naturally made subservient. In same way as a living being is subservient to food. As man may physically control the food but the need always is his, from the food, its never the other way round. The same is true for man and woman. Physical control is a sign of a deeper weakness of one who is trying to control. Where the relationship between two things is symbiotic, the need of control of one by the other is not seen if their mutual needs are in balance. It’s only when the need of one from the other is more and the symbiotic relationship is lopsided in favour of the other, that the one, more needy partner, is made physically stronger to wrest control from the other. 

-Pulastye

Power of Passion

Part of an old conversation, when a friend left a WhatsApp group: (And I still miss this friend often, extremely intelligent and  concerned,  whose presence was reassuring voice of sanity, until, one day, the friend decided to confront insanity in insanity’s own language of passion, and crossed over.):

“I don't know, in such cases trying to decide what is right always leaves me utterly confused. Unlike you, I can evoke no passion in such matters and that is a serious set back in choosing sides. Thinking running on the fuel of passion already knows it's direction. Then evaluation is not about right or wrong, it is about in favour or against. Which is easer to do. Without passion every step is a process of weighing, like checking the ground beneath before next step. I have tried passion route too. But couldn't separate good passion from bad one. Unfortunately, when something is burning you can't see its colour. And, I also met so many fanatics on that path that I was crushed with guilt to be in their company. But one thing I learnt, all form of passion thrives on response. So I try not to respond when I feel stink around me.

Sorry if it sounds overboard, but I think you gave the stink a bit of power by quitting the group.

You are being missed by most...one person made you to leave and so many others could not stop you; when passion renders more power to one vicious heart than so many loving ones, it got to be blind, don't you think?”

Stone Deity

 “I was innocent,

and then they came along,

they picked me, chipped me, carved me, elevated me..

gave me a name, made me alive.”,

said the bewildered stone, when God asked, “How a stone turned into a deity!”

-Pulastye

For Freedom Do Not Love

 *To be truly free, do not love.*

Water doesn’t, it never slows;

Wind doesn’t, it just blows;

Cloud doesn’t, it just flows.

Tree is stuck to earth for

It’s roots fall for soil,

Bird may soar, but must return 

to the nest to its foil.

To attain true freedom, 

One must love freedom, and nothing else.

Fulfilment and freedom can’t be together. 

*Fulfilment is a work of life time, freedom is living in the moment, free*. 

Freedom is the price one pays for fulfilment, The free never seeks fulfilment. 

True freedom is never wanting anything; not fulfilment, not even to love, or be loved.

-Pulastye

Living and Surviving

Answer is always there, like a knife in the hand, the challenge is to stab your self in the heart with it. Facing the pain that comes with it. 

Come to think of it, everything that destroys us is made sweet and everything that builds bitter. All nature (or call it god!) knows is to create a challenge for survival, so that only stronger survives, and what could be more effective way of doing it than designing what “we like” and “what is right for us” in completely opposing way! The true wisdom is to understand this anomaly. 

But even that understanding leads to choosing between two difficult choices: live much but suffer pain (does a drunk live, yes.), or avoid pain and not live much (does on live by renouncing the world, I doubt.) 

Living and surviving are very different things.  Living is a process of self destruction in a happy state, and survival of self preservation and duress. So, in a way, one who faces the answers is not better off than one who avoids them.

-Pulastye

Human Struggle

 The struggle is the sign of the unique existence we have. If struggle goes away everything goes with it. We are rare in the known universe  because we can struggle, to whatever little extent but we have control on our fate, unlike innumerable other things in the universe who have fully surrendered to their fate and float dead in the eternal darkness, to god knows whose will.

The problem is of having highly sophisticated tool to struggle. In our case our brain. It must be kept busy. Once basics are taken care of you can't switch it off and put it aside, it demands engagement, and starts projecting frivolities as importants and leads people like us in to them. More automated your tools are more the danger that they will take you over. Our brain runs on the fuel of dissatisfaction, made from the mix to envy, greed, and all the others of the seven sins. Hunger uses them to hunt but also keeps them on leash; but once hunger goes to rest they run amok, forgetting that they are means, not the end.

Other livings, like animals, do not have this problem. Their brains also rest when their hunger rests. 

-Pulastye

Eyes

 Eyes are windows to the soul. Eyes are where the bodily existence meets the consciousness, the  soul; outside world meets the inside world. Eyes are the children born when what is divine in you takes the physical into its embrace and they merge into each other. Your eyes, the daughters of your body and soul. Two babies. Playful, kind, always smiling, always delighting; perfect children of beautiful parents. These lovelies dance in the cradle of your face enchanting the mesmerised world, as proud parents, the body and the soul, watch and glow.

-Pulastye

Shadow

 Sifted sunshine.

Nothing to touch, nothing to put a stain on,

And yet a complete existence.

Existence defined by void.

Like soul.......

Alive, but free from burdens of living,

Dark and pure, and overriding, 

Like sin.......

-Pulastye

Woman Desire

 It is always a surrender, a consent with reluctance. Always let a part of you go limp, always withdraw a little bit, just enough to let him feel it.That’s our way; to burn like moist wood- on fire but never ablaze, always shrouded in smoke, always glowing dim, always at some distance. Never fully expose core of your desire to him, and never ever surmount his. “It’s our jewel”, they say. I agree. A woman who erupts like volcano and blows her man to smithereens with every bit of his being left melting in the after heat, is a whore, a woman out of control. Be domestic. And the first sign of domesticity is taming of desire. So, never fail to make a show of it, good girl! That’s how you walk the tight rope of having desires and being desired, in this place. 

-Pulastye

Syllabus of Life

 *Syllabus is same for all*. Be born, pursue happiness, deal with suffering; first chase achievements later chase nostalgia; when young, conquer, when old, preserve; the joy of meeting people, making friends, falling in love, carve relationships and see your self expanding, and then when people start  leavening  one after the other  (children  go, friends and partner die.. ) see yourself shrivel and shrinking,  and then, finally, be dissolve into a nothingness called death, and, surprisingly, feel thankful to it for having released you from the misery of life. This journey from “whole world is my oyster” to “when will the death come with deliverance” , it is the same for those  who live long enough. *School and books are different though*...Some do it with panache, some with simplicity; some with recklessness, some with caution; some get drowned in love and some thrive on hate; some live in others, some live for others; some sing aloud, some hold hand of silence and just listen to it; some seek shoulder to cry, some keep a bold front....our methods are different, but our tasks in life are the same... always...

-Pulastye

Intimacy

 This was a higher form of intimacy, not like the intimacy experienced by lovers who when undress in front of each other are aware of each other’s  nakedness, it was hidden so deep in the consciousness that it was beyond the bounds of awareness. At this level intimacy is not stimulating, it is soothing; and not identifiable even by absence of partner (Don't lovers miss each other?), except for that subtle sense of something always pleasantly nagging you like an imaginary musk. 

-Pulastye

Love

 Love, when we are trying to describe it, always takes form of an ideal. An ideal is a thought mechanism invented to regulate  the direction of human emotions, and is essential part of human conditioning, imposed through myth, legends and stories. Like the ideal of bravery directs violence, by specifying the time, place and a list of valid reason to resort to it to make it more useful to society, the ideal of love regulates the human passion. Ideal of love has evolved in such a way that it always sets standards of behaviour under the influence of passion much higher than what is possible for human beings to achieve. Which is clever, for nothing holds passion’s attention better than the impossibility of task.  And, also, for the obvious reasons of preventing the force of passion from turning against the society, the ideal of love always emphasises on self-sacrifice rather than pursuit by any means. No wonder unrequited love is exalted as the highest form of love. Therefore, the ideal love, in its purest form, is unattainable.

-Pulastye

Lofty Aim of Art

Well, I would interpret it as expression of frustration resulting from artist's acknowledgement of eternal failure of getting the same beauty on canvas which is there in his mind, without defiling it in some way. Mesmerised by the image of beauty in their heads artists often forget that the image in the head is so beautiful because it is fluid. Every aspect of it, as you focus on that aspect modifies itself to its best possible version in a flash without you noticing it because it is in your mind. The sum of parts is exactly equal to the whole, and is always maximum. But once you put it on canvas each part becomes fixed and unchangeable. It is now open to scrutiny. Then, invariably, comes the problem of sum of parts being unequal to the whole. This frustrates the artists to no end. Though, this is also what keeps them going forever in refining their art, for they blame themselves, their limited artistic ability for it; and that is good for growth of art and artists. However, once someone realises that largest part of thing of beauty is made up of allure which goes poof as soon as one touches the beauty, he turns in to a sage or philosopher; acknowledging the futility of the endeavour, the unattainabilty of lofty aim of art.

-Pulastye 

Beauty of a Woman

Let me see, how can I bring out the difference... appreciating a building for its architecture can never be same as a man admiring a woman for her beauty.....one is learnt appreciation, other is something built-in into his very being, in fact, is the very basis of his being... for man that is what woman is, his reason to exist...and beautiful woman, is his belief in god..and being with a beautiful woman, makes him feel like god....

- Pulastye 

Channel Over Message

Channel, over sufficiently long period, always grows bigger than message, because receivers have limited capacity to distinguish between the two, they recognise the value of message only from its form (written in Vedas, must be wise, from IIT, must be intelligent, has money, must be successful)and form is controlled by channel....prophets have always controlled (and manipulated) in the name of god because common folks have no ability to recognise god...(if you look at it, structured religions are books ruling the world..)

-Pulastya  

Baby playing in the rain

When the elements that make an organism meet their own....

Memories of first child ever born on the face of this earth, whose mother was nature,  possessing momentarily, rising from the depths of mysterious genes, this little baby who plays with wind and rain, unafraid-“It’s my mother’s lap extending into oceans, rivers, droplets and breeze.

You o dear lady! who looks at me with her heart in her eyes and milk in her breasts is only her shadow who cuddles me when Mother Nature is busy with her other children...

...Today she herself  is here to feed my soul....”

-Pulastye 

A Poet

Who sees a flower bloom and weeps is a poet...

(How fleeting is glory and how near is the end...)

Who sees an infant die and laughs is a poet...

(All see end, not a new beginning..)

Who hears a stone moan and kisses it is a poet...

(What beats in others is your own heart...)

Who cuddles a thundering ocean like a lover is a poet...   

(Heart doesn’t suffer from fears of eyes...)

-Pulastya 

To The Lips

 Birth place of rose petals… 

Or nursery of passion’s infant dreams.... 

Done in silk, dyed in the blush of a bashful heart, as it seems...

May God ever bless the touch with most sweet pain... 

That throbs under the rose coloured stain ....

-Pulastya

Forgetting

So True... but, sadly, they never completely fade away, it is that other pictures are painted over them; they still lie underneath, suppressed, and yet, still ever so slightly gnawing on your soul in your loneliest moments, making it bleed...love is such a poison that even if you survive it, it always leaves ugly scars behind, which start burning as soon as you are alone. Seeing someone you loved once fade away, is letting a part of your soul go away for ever....

Trying to forget is the worst form of remembering...

-Pulastya 

छुअन का प्यासा तन

इस क़दर सूखा 

की जल उठा ब्यार के छूने से,

और बारिश तो जैसे शोलों की बौछार है......

-पुलस्त्य 

Beauty Blesses By Being

 It’s been such long time that your face will seem fresher than ever. And, of course, I noticed the glow in the photograph, it prompted me to ping you, its curvaceous mistress. The glow is the ooze of bustling feminine, ripening in tenderness and caresses of staying indoors. Enchantress is intensifying her charm to defy imposed loneliness and attract admirers from the farthest places and from across the hardest obstacles. Keep the window open, for some devotee might jump in, to bow to the beauty and to offer devotion to source of life...

May god bless the glow. And, thanks god for those curves, may they remain firm for ever. Sadly, however, wind and sunshine are no cure for loneliness of a beauty, they only aggravate. Beauty blossoms when surrounded by eyes filled with devotion and bleeding hearts of admirers.

But, these being desperate times, call for desperate measures. So, derive solace from knowing that there are admirers out there whose hearts are beating to the rhythm of echo of your laughter they had once heard, glowing in the reflection of memory of your tender eyes, and in their dreams wander the earth that falls and rises taking after those curves of your body. Every beauty is a world to its admirer, a vast universe secretly humming in his heart...And that way, beauty blesses just by being. 

-Pulastya

Perception And Reality

 A car is a riding machine for us, a complicated power transmission chain for an engineer! Which one is its reality? Reality is nothing without perception. A statute Krishna in temple, mere stone or God! Depends on how you perceive it!

So, there are perceptions and there are things unknown, if there is any thing in between it is only a stop gap perception of things based on effervescence of our bubbling desires and tremors of our hidden fears exciting our imagination, like old lady in the moon, and ghosts in the dark rooms of the house, till one reaches to a better one.

Because knowing is perceiving only, when we do it scientifically we are only fixing method of perceiving (if you do this such and such will happen...!) to ensure the repeatability of outcome. 

All knowledge is paradigmic, and slight change in paradigm changes perception of reality. 

Reality that can be observed by senses is limited, large part of reality is deductive or logic based. For example what is sun? An orb shining in the sky which gives us light and warmth. That is what we know directly by using eyes, and our skin. Ok, but is that all of it? It is also a mass of highly condensed gasses burning at a very high temperature! But can we feel that through our senses! No, that is deductive, meaning scientists have deduced that indirectly based on scientific paradigms of what is a gas, what is light, what is spectrum of light etc..these paradigms are only current state of understanding of things and keep changing with newer facts ....Simpler example- when your husband looks upset that is something that you can perceive directly, but is that the reality? Let’s find out first why he is upset? Perhaps because he is hungry. So, now what is the reality, that he is upset, or that he is hungry? For less smart the first one (that he is upset) for smarter the second one (that he is hungry). Why smart, less or more, because the second understanding can be used to deal with the problem. It’s a solution, just give him to eat and he will be better, indicating better understanding. 

All that you call “reality” is perceiving in progress, one can never be sure that ultimate point has been reached and final perception can be freezed as reality.   At best it means that only currently the limit of understanding has been reached. Once Newton’s perception was reality, now Einstein’s is. Who knows what next? Perhaps we will eventually deduce (only deduction will be possible...by this very argument!) that truth (reality) is a function of time. That, to understand reality is an endless endeavour. The thing is further complicated, as Quantum mechanics has already cast as much doubt on the nature of observed reality itself- perceiving, method of observation, itself changes the outcome. 

-Pulastya 

Solitude

Solitude works best when all reference points of happiness, achievement, sense of security are internal to you, measured from a reference point which does not need comparison with others. That’s possible only when you have either beaten all external benchmarks (too good than the rest) or abandoned comparing (renounced the ways of world). If external benchmarks are still relevant to you then isolation is not solitude, it is loneliness. Need to connect to others for emotional reasons is the key difference between solitude and loneliness. Solitude is for satiated, loneliness is hunger. Enjoying solitude is enjoying freedom from emotional dependence.  Ironically, solitude and loneliness are possible even without isolation, depending on how deeply one understand the world around and looks outward for emotional gratification; more one understands, more one gets detached, leading to attainment of state of solitude. In such situation presence of other humans and their chatter is a mere nuisance, which when, sometimes, becomes unbearable people do move to seclusion to cut it. 

-Pulastya 

Holi

Holi, one day of going back to primal. A day of freedom from our clearly etched identities of civilised form and nature, when we let loose our common basic core as a human animal. All the components of the format of celebration-gathering of people for a purpose, colour, intoxicants, dancing on high energy music- blur our social human identities and restores us back to our animal ones. It is a restrained orgy, sublimely sexual. Which is such a relief.  To be like  just a fragment of a mass with no individual identity, and yet be able to feel and live individually. On the day, men and women are unrecognisable from normal days. In a belief that they are hidden behind the colour on their faces and the intoxicant in the eyes of others, they begin to lose the inhibition dictated by behaviour appropriate for their social position. Men become openly eager, women showy. Air is filled with under the surface simmering sexuality. Touching of faces, meeting of eyes, smiles from those who never would smile to you on any other day out of inhibition, that chasing, catching, breaching of personal space, all augmented by alcohol in the blood and music in the air is  a form of freedom that primitive human animal, buried in us on a normal day, craves and yet can’t not get. A prison of his (man’s)own rules opens the doors of its cells for one day, with in the walls of the barbed wire perimeter, for nothing can be done whose effect will be carried to tomorrow and will not fit with our social identities. So dancing becomes large part of venting of sexual energy building up in the air. Women and men go crazy. I have seen women dance like there is going to be no tomorrow. Kind of energy that is exhibited on the day gives full credence to the words of JBS that dancing is vertical expression of a horizontal desire. 

Come to think of it, there is nothing in the nature more perfectly designed than a woman to express desire, that’s the most beautiful sight of nature, the rare unification of what could be and what is. And all we do is privatise it, suppress it. Humans are so terrified of beauty that when we see it our instinct is to capture it, enslave it, destroy it. Like pigs shitting on bed of roses-with no sense of smell, tenderness or softness, just startled by bright red colour giving in to their first instinct of fear and defecating as a result. Only few can resist that first wave of exposure to beauty, surviving the terror it may impose, by over loading the senses with stimuli. This kind of overloading normally happens to man when he is in grave danger,  hence the feeling of terror on seeing the beauty. When the danger overloads the senses, instincts are trained for fight or flight, giving a quick relieving to overloaded senses. In case of beauty same or more amount of over loading of senses takes place and yet instinct do not know what to do. Training of fight or flight does not help. There is an unusually prolonged hyper over loading of senses with stimuli which are new, a newness that fails the fight or flight mechanism. Man staying filled with a sensation which is larger than danger and with a failed fight or flight mechanism, that’s the mother of all terrors, remember the nightmare where you are chased by a beast and can’t move despite trying very hard to run. In most cases the only recovery that happens is delayed firing of fight or flight mechanism in a distorted way, leading to man trying to capture, enslave or destroy the beauty. Those who stay still longer become poets, sages or God, for they have learnt to live with beauty.

-Pulastya 

Definition of a woman

I know woman. 

Her definition is hardwired in my body cells-

Like quarry knows it’s natural predator. 

She, in reality exists only as a  tamed counterfeit 

of the woman that flows in my blood.

I, all my life, have been a seeker 

of this perfect predator in the real world. 

I dream of, 

Her jaws closing on my necks, 

In that moment of orgasmic ecstasy, 

When death reveals to life it’s full worth, 

Our eyes meet one last time, 

And, I thank my killer for choosing me...

-Pulastya

 

Mundane

It is the person, not the day,
So, what is the hoopla about Birthday?
Feelings reduced to symbolism!
That is not what you deserve.
So, I will not offer:
Mundane, gift-wrapped in the wishes of special day.

I will celebrate you every day.

-Pulastya

To a first time poet

Advance thanks sir. I look forward to reading your book of poetry. I, without a doubt, am going to enjoy it.  For,

A poem is born when head serves heart...
When skill with words bows to the ability to feel..
Like a midwife, to a mother to be...
(Merely assisting when the other is bringing a piece of her self in to the world...)
The day belongs to the one bearing the labour pangs (feelings), not to the one who relieves them (words)...

And, like all babies are beautiful, all poems are classic...
And like babies, poems elevate the writer and the reader, to best version of themselves...
There is nothing else that separates humans from animal but ability to appreciate a poem...
And poet is still one notch higher- a being between god and man..
Who, like god sees what no one else does.....

(Who sees a flower bloom and weeps is a poet...how fleeting is glory and how near is the end...
Who sees an infant die and laughs is a poet...all see end, not a new beginning..
Who hears a stone moan and kisses it is a poet...what beats in others is your own heart...
Who cuddles a thundering ocean like a lover is a poet... heart doesn’t suffer from fears of eyes)

Please accept a ting of my envy as a token of my appreciation on your elevation to poethood...this is one limbo reserved as a reward for only best among the men..a purgatory for truly blessed...

Send your bundle of joy to me...
I will keep it to my heart like my own...

-Pulastya

Quantum

When no one is looking I am many persons, the moment someone looks I become the person he or she wants me to be.

Quantum mechanics says that very act of observation affects the out come, precipitating randomly one of the many possible outcomes.

Like electron in the orbit, behavioural inclination of humans are random and probabilistic, linked to moment,opportunity, and history of behavioural training (intentional or incidental)and they culminate into expressed behaviour depending upon who is watching...so the test you propose may be befitting gods (though mythology doesn’t support even that, for God’s fall to all kind of temptations more readily, ha ha..man created his gods in his own image, but let’s say just based on that it is clear what is expected behaviour from them), but it’s cruel to impose this on humans. Humans are nothing beyond their instincts, specially when no one is watching.

These kind of tests are typically used by religion to generate guilt among people, for business of religion is remedy for guilt and for fear of death...it creates its own plague and then goes out to sell the medicine at the price of conformity, compliance, labour, and also cash...

-Pulastya

Happiness

Desire for its permanence is the biggest corruption of happiness...

-Pulastya

Book Review

Part of review of a poetry book, I am working on:

Restraint is enemy of a poem. Restraint means poet is responding to the audience out of fear. Emotion, which are only true guide to take poet where no one has gone before are being navigated by an external force. Not being led by poet’s perceptions and longings for the world that poet wants to create, but by a world which already exists- the real world. This world subtly (not so infrequently violently too) nudges and manoeuvres poet to create her world in its own image. It pleases the real world if artist mimics it, a validation it seeks to justify status-quo. In the process turning a creator in to a copyist, stealing the powers of God from artist and turning her in to a human craftsman, who can cast only mannequins, forging beautiful bodies without souls, art that only follows the structure. The degree of art is the degree of rebellion that it leads against status quo.
All important act of creation is a mere game for the unworthy audiences,  just entertainment. Therefore, audience from true art’s point of view is of no value. It’s the other way round. Creation speaks to select audience through art, but only if they are worthy. Artist is the chosen medium. Artist listens only to divine instructions, not to audience. Also, medium doesn’t choose what and how much flows through it; she has been selected by a far far higher wisdom for a reason, and lets go herself without any restraint. Artist is not guided by level of intellect or rules of morality of her audience. Artist is accountable only to divine and her responsibility is expression of divine inspiration in her art form to best of her abilities. It is on the audience to rise upto the level of art she produces. If otherwise, then whole purpose and meaning of art is lost, and pornography will rule the roost (sadly, it does), because that’s what average joe of the world wants..

-Pulastya

Evil

Some people are like black holes, full of darkness, light is lost in them for ever. But, they have  this amazing gravitational pull. You approach them too close and they suck you in. Their charm is irresistible. So when you are feeling charmed  by gravitas of someone always be wary that it may be an evil darkness seducing you. This charm is what makes life worth living, though. Whatever is not for senses is not for living. And, whatever doesn’t prey on you doesn’t make you feel alive. There is nothing more to living but the view, the taste, the sound, the song, and the touch. All of them are nothing without a touch of evil in them. Evil is what adds that pinch of danger that gives them their flavour. And evil has the best variety of them too- nothing better to see than the sight of your paramour, nothing tastes better than his / her forbidden kisses, nothing sweeter than her secret whisper, her satisfied humming after a bout of passion is what tranquility of universe is made of, and touch of her skin on my fingers is what brought fire to the earth.  Root of every tree knows that the nourishment for  living always has to be sucked from the darkness. Avoid darkness you avoid living. All I am advising is that jump into it fully aware that the darkness and regret never go together, they, together, are poison for living.

-Pulastya

Quantum

Is flower a dream of butterfly,
Or, butterfly a dream of flower?
Love over cause & effect-
Quantum theory of happiness.

-Pulastya

Nature, Woman

Hi!...Sweet morning to you!

Bright lovely day ahh!...Light appears washed, tender, and pearly. I wonder if dawn was delayed today! Seems sunbeams took their time to get ready before starting off to shine on on the world. Bathed and dressed up in their best transparent gold, looking beautiful as never before, they gently wrap the world in a cool blaze.
It's a source of great comfort to this world, how beauty always does its job of making this world a pleasant place,  despite what it has to go through by the hands of those who, under the influence of reckless desire, want to own it. Only a few understand that nothing nourishes beauty like freedom does.
You have a lovely day too, and like sunbeam, put on your best wrap and shine on on the world, that's is the most important job that you have, any beauty has, for that matter. Isn't it amazing how blessed women are! It's the rain that brings nourishment to the body, the sun to the mind, and woman has the power to be both at the same time-a parallel nature that has not known cruelty of extremes.

-Pulastya

Fascination With Technology

A billion years work of nature is of no avail; silvery expanse of the water, azure diamond of the sky, and the green silk in the backdrop are reduced to nothing, by a phone! Turned invisible by a man made magic trick. Already self obsessed and inward looking, man is being enslaved by the charm of a hand held device pretending to be the world. Finally reality has lost its power on man, for, now, man carries oblivion in his hands. May be, may be not!

Most likely, you have momentarily turned your back to it all to take selfies with beauty surrounding you. Which, of course, is apt. We all attempt to capture beauty; if not to own it, in a vain ‘desire’ to make it last longer in our sight. It’s not in our control actually, on realising that the ‘desire’ is the effect that beauty creates on us, it is difficult to say who captures who, perhaps its beauty who captures us.

Beauty is also a touchstone for senses. That is its only real utility. How deeply a thing of beauty affects us is the measure of our sensitivity. How colours dazzle us; how scents arouse us; how touch burns us! This sensitivity is reflection of human being in us. Sensitivity to beauty is the strength of the barricade that confines and restrains the animal in us that is constantly attacking our human side. An attempt to capture beauty when one sees it, is a sign of senses surging to embrace beauty, even beyond its passing, in an attempt to banish the beast to the farthest recesses of heart and mind. Look at a sleeping baby sometime and be in thrall of purest form of beauty; if you are still able to blink, jungle is the place for you!

But, there could be another reason too. The idea of beauty is a mere notion, a notion based on relativity. It is ranking of things that interact with our senses in the hierarchy of visualised world (a world inside the head, a poet’s world). Naturally, those who feel beautiful have urge to know their own standing. But, because, one can not see self directly to compare, another pair of eyes is required. A job best done by poets, since eternity. When a poet is not around camera may be used. But, camera is a terrible substitute to do the job. Though some may highlight it as neutrality, its fatal disqualification is its indifference to beauty, for it has no heart. And, indifference is plague for beauty.

Impressed by the surrounding beauty, your urge to put the sky, the stream, the green and yourself in one frame through a selfie, to compare, is natural. But, a selfie won’t do. For, for truly finding your pedestal in the world of beauty, you must tickle the heart of a poet; and then, in the poet’s eyes, will you see your standing; if professional poet then, perhaps, in the words too.

So, drop the phone, go and look for a poet. I am sure there are many out there who will make you believe that you deserve the top spot. Believe you them if you wish, for there is no absolute truth in the world of beauty, it is only one opinion that you want to believe that matters.

-Pulastya

Gesture

Gesture is intent wearing a mask,
Something hiding itself,
It is, sometimes, guilt’s show of politeness,
And at others, selfishness dressed well.
Cunning unwillingness  speaks in gestures too....
And, even in its proudest moment,
It is just the last hurrah of debilitating weakness,
Pretending to act courageous.

Good or bad, but never enough to feed the hungry.

-Pulastya

A Book review

Chattanathan tells his stories of corporate world with almost romantic nostalgia. After decades of successfully operating in an extreme darwinian world, with its bell curves and hierarchy pyramids , Chattanathan still speaks of it in a very tender tone, like a veteran who has returned neither arrogant nor bitter. This tenderness comes because he doesn’t speak of battles, or valour, or weapons (He does, but only to add to the background.), but because he speaks of people, of soldiers as human beings. His stories are not of winning a corporate war at all cost, or of survival in a cut throat world, they are a reminder that even there all participants are human beings, and best way to touch them is to act like one. Being a trained corporate solider himself, he does emphasise on discipline, initiative, and motivation in his stories, but always subservient to the human aspect. His stories are nether of conquest nor of bitterness, they are stories of a journey that he claims is not as brutal as, sometimes, our preparation for the journey makes it out to be (blame parents, and schools, and business schools). And, then, he further claims that these people with their humanness intact turned out to be winners too in corporate world. Which, true or not, is very heartening to hear and to believe in.  Triumph of virtuous in real world. Heroes of our imaginations incarnating.

This book is a must for HR joining kit. Specially for trainees. A little book of poetry (And, there are poems too!) for future corporate soldiers, before they make transition from military school to the regiment and are led into battle. The book will soothe anxious souls of new soldiers heading for a life in a rough world. It will go a long way in keeping them human.

-Pulastya

Some thoughts on photography

In art form a photograph is an independent reality, not a slave of the reality whose image it captures. Its independence is seeded in the fact that it is not a true image, only a perspective in a particular moment. A ‘true image' photograph is an impossibility, because true image can not be separated from its reality either by space or time. In both separations image ceases to be true at the very moment of separation, for their flow into the future takes different paths-their similarity starts diverging. What may come closest to a ‘true image’ is reflection in mirror, and yet, it is also only partial in most cases.

In fact, the moment idea of a picture is conceived the path and destinies of the picture and subject begin to diverge. In conceiving itself factors like camera angle, lens, aperture diameter, exposure time, time of the day (the day itself! Rainy day, sunny day etc!), extra lighting, and focal point all play a transformational role: they change the reality of subject in favour of the reality of picture; and, also, capture only a part of the true (whole) image.

Also, ’True image’ as an idea is oxymoronic. Something that doesn’t exist. Can’t exist. For, there is no reality without a perspective. If it was otherwise then there would have been no distinction of “good photograph” and “bad photograph” of the same subject (reality). How you capture it makes that distinction. ‘How’ is the perspective- a distortion that work as a knife to scrap away the image from reality.

So, then, what is reality? Reality is a hint, a clue, a stimulus, a signal to be sensed with our five senses for arranging our thought. This arranging is important for that creates a semblance of living. Anger, fear, love, hate all are arrangement of thoughts in our head stimulated by hints that we call reality, and our perception of it.

A beautiful photograph is an amalgamation of the view, aesthetics, and emotions. “What” to capture dissolved in to “how” to capture and “why”, these coupled with “how much” to capture and “when” are the decisions to be made, which keeps the mind of photographer in a state of constant reviewing of thoughts evoked by the view in sight. It (this constant reviewing) is like first growing an ‘eye of mind’ to find beauty, and then leading biological eyes through a training where they learn from the ‘eye of mind’; and deepen, broaden, soften their understanding of beauty. The “eye of mind” is the emotional capability of brain which does the emotional referencing of things in sight, giving them a meaning, which biological eyes can not do. An ant carrying a load ten times it body weight and struggling up a wall is not a sight of visual beauty, but makes up for immense emotional beauty-for ant’s will-to-live despite life being so hard on it(from the human perspective of physical labour). So, despite the individual ugliness of the subject (ant, and the carcass of a dead moth perhaps!) it would make for a good picture for its emotional content; if the struggle part is suitably highlighted by capturing the relative size of ant and its load and the height it has covered, along with capturing, possibly, the distance it has yet to go. And, that will decide the “how much” (of what is in sight)to capture part.

-Pulastya

Priorities

Other aspect is that people also are willing to swap planned leaves easily for that sense of importance when boss says, “We won’t be able to do without you.” Prior approved planned leave is difficult for boss to deny, more so when it involves booking etc.- a financial loss on the part of the team member, because it creates an obligation on boss. A good boss ideally should never want to be under obligation, because that hinders fair appraisal. But, in reality it doesn’t take much for bosses to start confusing their own convenience (and team members being handy is largest part of it) with member’s performance. Members too quickly take that hint and start perceiving that offering convenience to boss is very important part of their job. And, cancelling a planned leave on boss’s demand is a big offering of convenience to boss at personal cost. Clearly, done not for fear of reprisal but more for gaining in appraisal. If one chooses appraisal over enjoying life then that’s about his/ her own priority, bosses can not be expected to set someone’s priority right, specially when bosses themselves have grown in the same culture. A few who go extra mile and guide on priorities in life too are of a rare breed of bosses.